rude in rhode island

Recently, a friend from Tennessee told me that at times he finds it difficult living in New York, because people tend to lack the graciousness he is accustomed to. I have to admit, I was a little taken aback by the notion. I've always found New Yorker's to be helpful and friendly people. Still, southern notions of manners are something else altogether, and so I can understand where he is coming from. These things are conditioned, I suppose.

A couple of weeks ago, I took a road trip to Connecticut and Rhode Island. The landscape was beautiful, the company delightful, and my hosts were phenomenal. I was completely flabbergasted, however, by how rude so many strangers were over the course of the weekend. The experience certainly gave me a greater appreciation for what the aforementioned friend probably feels like from time to time. It started when our rental car accidentally gave the pickup truck in front of us what can only be described as a love tap. Below, see some excerpts of the conversation:

Crazy Old Rude Man: What the f*ck? Call 911. You just ran into my truck.
Us: Sir, I'm so sorry about running into your truck. This was completely our fault. We will call the
police.
...
Us: Sir, we called the police and-
Crazy Old Rude Man: I already called them! What is wrong with you? Get me your insurance
papers.
*to his wife* Get their license plate number down, I don't want a hit and run with these punks.
Us: I think we should move our cars onto the shoulder
Crazy Old Rude Man: Don't you move your car until the police gets here.
Us: We are on the highway. This is a serious safety hazard. Sir, this is clearly our fault, and we've admitted this to you plainly and repeatedly.
Crazy Old Rude Man: You know what else is a safety hazard? Running into someone's f*cking rear end.

For the rest of the ordeal, the man basically stood at his car and literally stared us down. Eventually, it became too much to bear, and we stared back aggressively, giving up any hope of an agreeable end to the encounter. This was the first and most memorable of a number of shockingly rude encounters over a two day period. It was really sort of infuriating, because our initial inclination was to be polite, apologetic, and generally reasonable.

I never know quite how to react when confronted with inexplicable rudeness. My instinct is often to ignore the other person's hostility and to respond with politeness. The hope is that the other person will see my commitment to calm dialogue and respond by adjusting his own tone or manners. All too often, however, this fails to happen. In these situations, this approach can begin to feel almost ingratiating; a form of defeat. The truth is that I somtimes get angry. Why should I indulge that kind of behaviour for even a minute? If I approach a situation with manners, and one proceeds to disrespect me and himself with unprovoked rudeness, he should be made aware of just how unreasonable his behaviour is. Maybe by reacting more actively and assertively, I can reduce the likelihood of other people having to deal with the same garbage.

I find it difficult, sometimes, being in Rhode Island.